Definitions: Quotes: "I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play." -Artur Schnabel, Australian pianist, asked the secret of piano playing. ""When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano." -Bob Hope, American comedian, on comedian Phyllis Diller. "Claire de Loonie." -my band teacher, after hearing a student play Clair de Lune. Jokes: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?       -- A flat minor. What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?       -- A flat major. Why did they say that the pianist had fingers like lightning?       -- They never struck the same place twice. What did they find when they dug up Beethoven's grave?       -- He was decomposing. Why did Mozart kill his chickens?                   -- Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!" The Piano is celebrating its 300th anniversary. It's also the 300th anniversary of the phrase "But I don't want to practice".   Trivia: A 64th note is called a hemidemisemi quaver. In the 18th century (around Mozart's time), some pianos had a knee pedal that has the same function as today's pedal but were operated with the knees. The great pianist Anton Rubinstein has trouble getting up in the morning. Every morning Mrs.Rubinstein would wake him up by playing a dischord on the piano. Not being able to stand the sound, Rubinstein would run to the piano and resolve the chord properly, while Mrs.Rubinstein run to the bedroom and take all the sheets and blankets off the bed. That's how the day of the great Rubinstein gets started. - Victor Borge, My Favorite Intermission. The average medium sized piano has about 230 strings, each string having about 165 pounds of tension, with the combined pull of all strings equaling approximately eighteen tons. The oldest piano still in existence was built in 1720. No one knows where Mozart is buried. Each American president has had a personal piano -- with the exception of Gerald Ford and George Bush. Mozart once composed a piano piece that required a player to use two hands and a nose in order to hit all the correct notes. When Beethoven was writing his 9th symphony he requested a piano that had a percussion pedal on it.